The Return of Jeff
by Gary Oak The Pidgeon
Summary: Mabel is kidnapped by the gnomes once more, Jeff determined to make her his queen. The gnomes are a powerful race, but they may die off. Now Mabel has to save herself.
1. Chapter 1

Mabel batted her eyelashes at the boy inside The Mystery Shack. "It seems we're both here at the same time. Do you think that there's a reason?"

He slowly backed away from her. "Uh, I was just going to ask you what price this stuffed animal was." The boy held up a stuffed sasquatch. "Since you're wearing an employee sticker and all. . ."

"Oh," Mabel said, crossing her arms. "It's $4.99."

The boy quickly checked out, then ran out.

"You aren't even boy crazy anymore," Dipper said, counting over the money in the cash register again. "Seriously, you have to realize that people need space, Mabel."

"I was just trying to flirt!"

"Mabel, not everyone wants to be flirted with. It's called basic respect."

Mabel sighed. "You're right. But still, the closest I got to romance was with Gideon, and that was just gross."

"Hey, you nearly got married to one thousand gnomes!"

Mabel pouted. "That isn't funny, Dipper."

Dipper sighs. "Yeah, that was a bit uncalled for. Sorry, sis. Maybe you should just try to make friends with a guy. Why do you need romance anyway?"

"So are you just going to be friends with Wendy?" Mabel asked.

Dipper turned red.

"I knew it, you hypocrite!" Mabel pointed her finger straight at him. "You know what? I'll find a boy who will flirt with me."

"Mabel, I wasn't saying you couldn't flirt with guys, but don't make them uncomfortable."

"Oh," Mabel replied. "Well, I'll find one anyway!"

The clock struck six and Mabel Pines ran out the door.

"Where are you going?" Dipper yelled, but she was already too far away.

* * *

Mabel plopped into a diner seat, ordering a piece of cherry pie. Some other kids her age were there, and she got up to talk to them. "Hello," she said to the small group of kids.

"Hey," said an olive skinned girl. She adjusted her dark black I ponytail, reapplying the scrunchie. "Aren't you the girl who went against Pacifica at the party?"

"Yeah," Mabel said. "People still remember that?"

"Believe me," the girl says, "when someone goes against Pacifica Northwest, we remember it."

Lazy Susan brought the groups food, a cheeseburger for the olive skinned girl, chicken fingers for a girl with hair the color of honey, and a large plate of fries for a black guy.

"I'll bring your pie out soon, hon." Lazy Susan said. "It's going to be delicious."

"I know it will," Mabel said.

"I'm Hannah," the olive skinned girl said. "That's Tyler and that's Rachel."

"Hi," Rachel said.

"What's up?" Tyler asked.

"Hey," Mabel said. "I'm just waiting for my pie."

"We were eating dinner." Hannah said. "Our parents all run restaurants in town and feed us the weirdest stuff." She stuck out her tongue. "It's great to just eat the gold America burger."

Tyler threw Mabel a fry. "You're related to the guy that runs The Mystery Shack, right?"

"Yep, and it's not very fun." Mabel bit into her fry, breaking it in half. "He has this weird rivalry with a psychic guy named Gideon, and he has the weirdest exhibits. Still, he's a good guy."

"It can't be as bad as when my parents made me eat only traditional German food for a week." Tyler shivered. "Sausage is good and all until you eat it with every meal. I haven't touched it since."

"That's terrible," Mabel said.

Tyler laughed.

"So, are you doing anything tonight?" Hannah asked. "My friends and I were going to go see a movie. Want to come? You seem cool."

Mabel blushed. "Aw, thanks guys."

"No problem," Hannah said.

Lazy Susan brought Mabel her pie.

"Thank you," Mabel said to her.

"No problem," Lazy Susan said. "How's your great uncle?"

"He's over his fear of heights." Mabel responded.

Lazy Susan laughed. "The silly man finally got over that? Tell him I said congratulations!"

The four finished their food, then walked to the movie theater. Despite all four having just eaten, they all pooled their money together to buy a large popcorn.

"Delicious," Rachel said in the middle of the movie. "It's way better than these totally fake vampires."

When the movie ended, the four went their separate ways, promising to call each other and meet up another time.

Mabel walked home with a smile on her face, happy to have made new friends. She was sure Brenda and Candy would like the three.

Her smile stopped when she felt herself fall over, then feel something damp get shoved into her face. Everything went black after that.

* * *

"Where am I?" Mabel asked, rubbing her head with her hand. She felt something strange around her finger. She looked at it, seeing a familiar ring. "Uh oh," Mabel said.

"She woke up!" a familiar and overjoyed voice said.

Great, she really hadn't expected seeing the gnomes again.

* * *

**Author's Note: Sorry it's short, but I promise it will get longer. So, what do you guys think? This is different from my last _Gravity Falls_ fic, that's for sure.**


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing Mabel noticed was that she was smaller. "What happened?" she asked. "What happened to my extra millimeter? My dozens of other inches?"

Jeff stared back at her. "What, did you expect to remain a giant or something?"

"Well, I," Mabel said, then looked down at her finger. There was the same wedding ring from the beginning of summer, the small crystals sparkling in the sunlight. Yes, these were the ones that got her and her brother in a load of trouble with Lil' Gideon.

_How easily can I get out of this?_ Mabel asked herself. Quickly, she began to pull on the ring to remove its power from her. It wouldn't budge one single inch.

"Honey," Jeff said. "We aren't stupid. Believe me, we wouldn't want you pulling that off and getting away."

Mabel marked that off of her mental ways of getting out checklist.

"It won't be so bad." Jeff said.

_Like I'd believe you,_ thought Mabel, hiding her anger.

"Anyway, now that you are the gnome queen, we kind of need you to do something." Jeff waved his hand in the air. "Really, it won't be much."

"What do you need?" Mabel asked, hoping she could find a way out.

"We need you to perform an ancient magical ritual to restore us to our former glory so that we can remain immortal."

"Yep, you're really not asking for much."

"Glad to know you're on board!" Jeff didn't catch her sarcasm. "Now follow me!"

* * *

_Gnomes are powerful creatures, and with little magic can do many things. Back in the olden days, back when humans believed in such things, they were hunted down so their power could be used. The ancient gnomes at first didn't see this as much of a problem, as humans usually grabbed the weakest or laziest gnomes, the ones who couldn't run away. However, soon their numbers began to dwindle, almost causing the gnomes to go extinct. With their all male members, they had no way to reproduce. Many began to think their population would remain eternally small._

_Soon the gnomes discovered the forest's shrinking and growing crystals. The new sizes they made with them couldn't help them, but they did find other magic forms._

_First, the gnomes tried to make copies of themselves, but it didn't work. Next, they tried to bring the dead gnomes back to life, which ended up killing even more gnomes. For a period of time, many gnomes began to believe that there was no they could ever get back to their former glory._

_However, one gnome believed otherwise. At the time, he was one of the least noticed gnomes. His name was Jeff._

"That's me!" Jeff said, pointing at the scroll.

"They didn't get your nose right." Mabel said.

Jeff glared at her. "Don't mention that! Other than the mistake on my nose I look just as handsome as I do now."

Mabel rolled her eyes.

_Jeff thought if the humans could find amazing things from the gnomes, then the gnomes could find amazing things from the humans. With the help of a few other gnomes, he kidnapped a local human girl and forced her to marry the gnomes; the girl was shrunk using one of the crystals. Experimenting with magic, he found a spell only she could do, restoring the gnome population to a thousand. However, she found a way to escape, and she was never seen again._

_At first her being gone wasn't seen as a big deal. The gnomes were back to their regular population and just as healthy as always. However, over the years they slowly became less and less healthy. As slow as it was, they eventually had to face the fact that they were getting weaker._

"And that's where you come in," Jeff said. "To make sure we don't die, you just need to perform a super hard spell. Don't worry, it'll make you immortal, too. Besides, you'll only have to do it every thousand or so years."

"Uh," Mabel said.

"Oh, and don't think of trying not to. By now our magic crystal, which we enhanced with gnome magic to give you some of our DNA, should be working quite well. Basically, if you don't help us, you will slowly weaken and die with us."

* * *

**Author's Note: Not very long, but I've been busy. I can't guarantee when the next chapter will come.**


	3. Chapter 3

Mabel dreamed of her brother. "Dipper!" she called out to him, though he never heard her no matter how loud she yelled. "Dipper! Dipper! Please hear me, Dipper!"

It didn't do her any good.

The dream took place in front of The Mystery Shack, and though he appeared to be close to her, in the dream it was as if the two were miles away.

Dipper didn't say anything, just seemed to sit and stare into his book. He may have liked the book very much, but Mabel knew that he'd never ignore her to read it.

"Dipper!" she called again. "Can't you hear me, Dipper?" She already knew the answer.

She then tried running to him, but the faster she ran, the harder it seemed to get to him. How would she ever reach her brother at this rate?

Dipper continued to flip the pages of his book, never getting tired of it and looking up.

"Gruncle Stan!" she yelled, hoping he would hear her. "Wendy! Soos!" No one heard her.

She was all alone, at least before she woke up with a jerk.

"What's wrong?" asked Jeff.

Mabel hid her disgust at sleeping next to him. "I had a nightmare. It was nothing, I'm getting back to sleep now."

* * *

Mabel wondered what Dipper was up to. Did he have any idea where she was? Was he looking for her?

"Mabel," said Jeff. "You're spacing out! You have to learn this spell."

"Sorry," Mabel said. "I'm just kind of tired."

"Okay, back to what I was teaching you. All you have to do is repeat the phrase 'Oh life, come to me' ten times, then throw one of our ancient powders in the air."

"When am I doing it?" Mabel asked.

"In a week, once the moon is full," Jeff said. "That's why you have to learn I so fast."

"I can do that," Mabel said, though she didn't really care about it. There had to be some way to become human again, wasn't there?

"Let's continue," said Jeff.

"Oh life, come to me," Mabel repeated.

"Just like that," said Jeff.

"That's simple," Mabel said.

"Yeah, but if you make even one mistake you could doom our entire race. No pressure, though."

Mabel ran her hand over her new sweater, one made out of moss of all things. "Yeah, no pressure."

"Remember, if we die, you die." Jeff said. "Still, no pressure."

Mabel wanted to choke the little guy, but she refrained from doing so. "Okay, so now what?"

"Lunch!" said Jeff. "Or else I'll starve to death."

_Not like I'd mind if you did,_ thought Mabel.

"Let's go get us some grub," said Jeff.

From what Mabel had learned in the little time she'd spent here, there was a hierarchy of power in the gnomes. Jeff was the leader, the one she spent the most time with, the one on top of the gnomes' power chain. Other gnomes were always less than him, though some had great deals of power.

"What's for lunch?" Mabel asked, still disgusted by gnome food. Though she hadn't expected cheeseburgers in the middle of the forest, she still hated the gnome food. Seriously, why couldn't berries just be eaten alone and not with grass? Ewe.

"Venison," said Jeff.

"Venison?" Mabel had never seen any of the gnomes eat meat.

"Yeah, we need to get our protein." Jeff ran his tiny hands together, licking his lips. "Believe me, you'll want fourths!"

The venison was good, having recently been smoked. She ate as much as she could, knowing she likely wouldn't eat much else for a while.

"You like it?" asked Jeff.

"Definitely," Mabel said, doing what Gruncle Stan would consider a crime by talking with her mouth full.

"That's great!" said Jeff.

When lunch was over, Mabel began to look around the forest. She realized that if she did make an escape, she'd have to leave, and her plan would have to be made out in advance, with every possible variable considered.

"May I reread the scrolls?" asked Mabel, hoping to waste time and make out her plan.

"Sure," said Jeff. "No problem."

Mabel smiled. "Thanks."

Jeff didn't notice her fake cheer.

* * *

**Author's Note: I've been getting a lot of "Dipper should come save her!" messages. Though I do like Dipper, I see Mabel as being able to save herself. Not that there's anything wrong with Dipper, but Mabel isn't a damsel in distress who needs to be rescued.**


	4. Chapter 4

Dipper scowled, throwing a pillow at the door. He'd spent hours looking for Mabel, the results fruitless. "Where could she be? She just doesn't suddenly disappear like this without notifying that she's out." After days of her not notifying where she was, he finally admitted the truth: she was gone. He couldn't pretend that that wasn't a fact any longer.

"But where could she be?" he asked, sitting on his bed. Waddles was sitting next to him, and Dipper scratched his ears. "I bet you miss her too, don't you, Waddles?"

Waddles oinked, then got off the bed.

"Rude," Dipper commented. "I guess some people can't handle a conversation." Dipper thought back to a time shortly before, back when he'd faced off against a psychic runt. "I know where to go."

As Dipper walked downstairs, Gruncle Stan asked where he was going. Stan too seemed to want to deny that Mabel disappeared, just wanted to pretend it'd somehow get better.

"I'm going to go strangle your mortal enemy."

"Just make sure to be back by dinner."

* * *

Bud Gleeful seemed surprised to see Dipper at the door. "Why hello," he said. "Are you a _friend_ of Gideon?"

"You and I both know that I'm not." Dipper pointed directly into Bud's face. "Show me where hairspray boy is right now or so help me I will run you over with the Mystery Cart."

"Come right in," said Bud Gleeful. "Would you like some imported Columbian coffee?"

"Thanks for the offer, but coffee isn't really my thing."

"You have fun with Gideon now."

Dipper passed by a woman who was frantically vacuuming away, seeming to not even notice him. He felt bad for her, clearly this having been done to her somehow by Gideon.

The house was neat, much neater than The Mystery Shack. Dipper opened random doors upstairs, unsure of which did and didn't house Gideon. Perhaps he should've paid some more attention when he was a shrunken midget. He wished he'd quizzed his father-asked where Mabel was, where Gideon's room could be found upstairs. Dipper shook his head, knowing he'd just have to continue.

When Dipper found the door to Gideon's room, he almost jumped in joy. Inside sat the boy, playing on an iPhone.

Gideon looked shocked to see him. "Dipper Pines, what are you doing here? I haven't worked on my evil plan yet."

"Shut up," said Dipper. "What did you do with my sister?"

"I haven't seen her since the last incidence."

"Liar," Dipper said, pointing at him. "You kidnapped her!"

"Why Dipper Pines, I didn't. Really, I don't know anything about her."

Dipper jumped on him, pinning him to his bed. "You're lying! Tell me where my sister is right now!" Dipper had never been angrier in his entire life; he really did feel as if he could strangle Gideon. Even without what Gideon did, Dipper probably would just at the smell of his excess hairspray.

Gideon pushed Dipper off of him, causing Dipper to fall to the floor. Dipper took off his hat, rubbing his head.

"I have no idea about where your sister is." Gideon put his hands on his hips. "And I did not kidnap her. Believe me, I'd be much happier right now if I had." Gideon's frowned. "So I'll take a guess and say that she's missing."

Dipper nodded.

Something strange happened then, something Dipper never expected and something he never expected to happen before, Gideon hugged him. It was close, warm, and kind of. . . nice.

Gideon released him from the hug, pointing towards his celling. "Do you know what this calls for?"

"What?" Dipper asked.

"We must work together to save her!"

**Author's Note: Though Gideon and Dipper will fail to save Mabel, I totally want them to work together on this. Short chapter, but I think it gets to the point.**


	5. Chapter 5

Dipper paced around his room, his steps getting heavier by the second. His thoughts concerned only finding Mabel.

"Stop wasting your energy, darling," Gideon said in his thick Southern accent. "Trying to break the hardwood floor isn't going to save my peach dumpling."

"She's not your peach dumpling!" said D ipper.

"Then what is she?" Gideon crossed his arms. "An alien?"

Dipper scowled. "She's my sister!"

Gideon sighed. "So angry," he commented. "What we need is a plan to save her. Do you have any idea who could've taken her?"

Dipper stopped pacing, then sat on the edge of his bed next to Gideon. "Well, we've definitely faced off against some creeps this summer. Like the Summwerween Trickster, oh wait Soos killed him. . . That guy who could travel through time? No, I don't know what he'd want with Mabel. Pacifica Northwest? Nah, she's not _that_ evil. You're currently playing the innocent card-"

"Because, Dipper Pines, I _am_ innocent!" Gideon yelled. "If I had my precious little Mabel in my possession right now do you think I'd be in here with you? Didn't we already go over that?"

"Or she really could be missing," commented Dipper, imagining Mabel's face on a milk carton. "But why would they take Mabel?"

"Maybe because Mabel is the cutest, sweetest, and the most amazing girl in the world."

"I'm pretty sure your taste in girls isn't the same for everyone, Gideon. Could she have just been randomly taken?"

"You sound too much like a cheap police drama," commented Gideon. "Are you sure that there isn't someone else who may have taken Mabel?"

Dipper shook his head. "I just can't think of anyone else."

Gideon began to cry. "Dipper Pines, this is the worst possible thing! Ugh, I'll probably have to take you as my replacement! You don't mind being called Peach Fritter, do you darling?"

Dipper froze. "You can only have me in your dreams; I'm way too good for you."

* * *

A clock ran through Mabel's mind, constantly reminding her that she didn't have forever. She needed to continue working to free herself.

The gnomes were all very excited about the big ritual coming up.

"It'll be great!" commented one gnome.

"I know!" replied another one.

And despite everything, she was afraid of the chance that she might fail.

* * *

Dipper stopped pacing, then looked towards his ceiling, a look of joy on his face. "The gnomes!" he yelled. "Mabel was taken by the gnomes!"

"The gnomes?" asked Gideon. "So my peach dumpling was kidnapped by tacky lawn ornaments from Walmart?"

Dipper sighed. "It's kind of a long story."

"Well, if you're sure, and you better be sure because I don't get this suit dirty for nothing, then let's go save her!" Gideon jumped off of Dipper's bed. "Mabel, we're coming for you!"

* * *

Mabel stared at the two captured prisoners, trying to hide her shock. Gideon and Dipper? For a moment she wished that they had saved her, but it was nearly impossible without a leaf blower. She'd learned that the gnomes really were powerful, so powerful that it kind of scared her. She'd been careful about making her escape plan, but it seemed now it wouldn't work.

"What should we do with them?" asked one gnome.

"We kill them," said Jeff.

"What the heck?" asked Mabel. "You're just going to kill them? Don't you at least have a prison or something? Maybe ye ole' stocks?"

Jeff shrugged. "We never thought about that. Okay, someone go build a jail. But who knew what they could've done? They could've taken off with our queen!" Jeff scowled. "And that would be unacceptable!"

Mabel realized that she would probably need a new escape plan.

**Author's Note: Short, sorry. This is actually going to end soon, but I think you'll like the ending.**


	6. Chapter 6

"I told you we should've brought a leaf blower," Dipper said angrily. "Look what you got us into, Gideon!"

"Dipper Pines, can't you see that I am trying to mourn? My peach dumpling has left me for a bunch of gnomes!" Gideon wiped a tear from his eye. "I guess you'll just have to do. We might as well begin the introductions now."

"What?" Dipper asked. "No way, man! If I had to date a guy I'd go for someone else, someone like Norman."

"Who's Norman?" asked Gideon. "I must destroy all competition!"

"This is why no one wants to date you," Dipper said. "As I was saying, why didn't you let us bring a leaf blower?"

"I don't want anyone seeing me with a stupid leaf blower!"

"But I would have been carrying it," Dipper said. "You wouldn't even have had to touch it."

Gideon sighed. "You have a lot to learn, Dipper Pines. I better teach you fast before all the magazines cover Dipgidpereon."

"What?"

"You remember 'Magidbeleon', don't you?"

"I keep telling you, I won't date you!"

"You will if I can't have your sister!"

Dipper sighed.

"I'll destroy Robbie for you if you date me," Gideon added.

"Okay, we're together," Dipper said.

Gideon smiled. "Now let's get out of here."

It was easy enough, the construction poor and underguarded. The two ran through the forest, then hurried into The Mystery Shack. They were both panting and covered in sweat.

"My suit," said Gideon. "Oh, it's so terrible!"

"We have more important things to worry about, you know." Dipper grabbed two water bottles, handing one to Gideon. He took the cap off of his, taking a long swig.

Gideon removed twigs from his suit and hair. "What an adventure, and we end up with nothing."

"Maybe we need a new plan," said Dipper.

"Yeah," Gideon replied. "One that's fool-proof!"

That's when something ran in through the cat door quickly, the two boys quickly hugging themselves together. It was embarrassing for them both to be scared, but right now they were pretty much defenseless.

"Hey guys," said Mabel. "What's up? Can you help me get this ring off?"

* * *

"I'm back to normal size!" Mabel said happily, glad that the ring was off.

"It's amazing," Gideon said, hugging her tightly.

"How did you escape?" asked Dipper.

"I didn't," Mabel said. "The gnomes and I made a deal where I'd still be their queen, visit them every once in a while, do their creepy gnome rituals, but I could still be a normal girl. I'm also immortal."

"What?" Gideon asked.

"Yep, I got myself a pretty good deal, plus I don't have to be tiny anymore!"

"No!" Gideon yelled. "Now I really am going to have to date Dipper Pines!" He grabbed Dipper's shoulders. "Dipper, you do like sweaters, don't you?"

"I don't know what's going on between you guys, but I'm going to the diner to get some breakfast. I'm starving!" And then she left the two in the kitchen, her thoughts filled with hot chocolate and blueberry pancakes.

**Author's Note: Didn't expect that ending, did you? I originally wanted to make the end all action and longer, but I realized this was better. So, what do you think? **

**I secretly used this fic for Dipeon uses. I'm not sorry.**


End file.
